A Century of Muggleborn Headcannons
by DashOfAwesomeness
Summary: Come with me and dive into the magical world that is... muggleborns? Hey! Author! Am I reading this right? What's so funny about Muggleborns? Ahuh.. Oh... Okay, I hear you! Okay, I can do that, thanks. Dive with us into the magical world that is know as the lives of Muggleborn Hogwarts students! Trust me, it's quite worth it to spy on these students and find amusement.


It was breakfast time at Hogwarts, and all the students were inside the great hall, cramming food into themselves before the headed off to classes. The great hall was usually bustling with energy and movements as the students conversed with friends from other houses, but today was different. The students themselves were quiet, speaking on hushed tones, and casting furtive glances at each other why.

Why? For that answer, all one had to do was look over to the Hufflepuff table where upon it lay a letter. But, as all the students thought, it was no ordinary letter. It was a howler. For all those unacquainted with Howlers, Howlers were quite simply the worst invention of wizard kind. The simple envelope was enchanted to yell out the contents of the letter inside it by a witch or wizard, and leaving them alone was no option. Each Howler had a thirty second limit, in which you had to open up the lid for it to yell through, or it would begin yelling on its on.

The timid Hufflepuff student stared fearfully at the letter, his mind racing as he wondered what was inside. The year had started of wonderfully, he lamented, and now he would be ruined. His reputation, however small and insignificant, would now be tarnished. He would forever be the boy who got yelled at by whoever the letter had been from. In fact, that was rather odd. As both his parents had been muggle's, he wondered who could've enchanted the Howler.

The boy's question was answered, as the Howler opened its flap, and began yelling.

 **"HEY THOMAS! ITS YOUR COUSIN BRENDON. YOUR MUMS BEEN WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU, Y'KNOW. SHE WONDERS WHY YOU HAVEN'T** OWLED **ME YET."** From somewhere in the background, Tom could hear snickering. **"I ALSO HAD THE SAME QUESTION LITTLE MAN. ARE WE NOT BEST MATES?"** Tom smacked his head against the table, as he covered his arms with it. He could practically feel the gazes of the whole school on him.

See, Tom's cousin Brendon had once attended Hogwarts as well. In fact, he had been born from non-magical parents (Tom's Aunt and Uncle) as well, and had been equally as surprised when he had received his Hogwarts letter. But after the initial shock, he had come to dominate the school, alongside his fellow Gryffindor's. He had just graduated last year, and had been giving friendly "tips" on how to survive without him the whole summer.

As Tom peeked out from under his arm, and saw everyone look towards the Gryffindor table. The Gryffindor's in turn were looking at the Howler, with a mix of apprehension and amusement.

There was a pause, as Tom heard some clicking of a keyboard from the Howler, and then music started. He groaned, as he buried his head into his arms. His cousin could've picked any type of torture, and he had gone with the worst of them all.

 **"Oooooh. We're no strangers to love. You know the rules, and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy!"**

At this, the Gryffindor table exploded with laughter, as a scattering of muggle-born and half blood students from the Ravenclaw and Slytherin began singing along. One 6th year Slytherin girl cleared the table she was eating on, and climbed on top, using her wand as a mic, as she began to sing along.

 **"I just want to tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand!"**

The girl motioned for her friend to join her, and he was more the happy to oblige. He used his wand as a mic as well as he put his back to hers, and sang along as well.

 **"Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around, and desert you! Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"**

The entire Great Hall had now dissolved into utter pandemonium, as students began to laugh hysterically. One Ravenclaw student looked quizzically between Tom, the Howler, and the rest of the students as he tried to piece together what was happening. From all he had heard, all it was was a love song.

 **"We've known each other for so long. Your heart's been aching, but you're too shy to say it. Inside, we both know what's been going on. We know the game and we're gonna play it. And if you ask me how I'm feeling, don't tell me you're too blind to se-ee!**

At this point, Professor Longbottom walked into the Great Hall, plate of eggs in hand. But by the time he saw the chaos, the Howler and the singing Slytherins however, the plate of eggs was no longer in his hands. Rather, the eggs had chosen to take up lodging on the floor, and part of his shoes. But it didn't matter to much to him at the moment. In fact, he barely noticed it. He took long, fervent strides as he walked over to the Slytherin table.

"Which one of you did this!" He shouted, but his voice was drowned in the myriad of laughter and music. He tried a different approach. "Jazeera! Caleb! Get down from that table or detention!" He shouted, but his threats were met to no avail. The music continued, as did their singing and laughter.

 **"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you!"**

Neville then gave up with the Slytherins, as he strode towards the Ravenclaws. They, save for a few students who were laughing uncontrollably, were the calmest of the tables. "WHAT IS THIS?" He shouted as he looked up and down the table.

"Thomas got a Howler. From his cousin Brendon." One student replied. Neville groaned, as he rubbed his temples. Even after the kid had graduated, he was still causing mayhem. The seven years that the kid had been there had been full of practical jokes and mischievous pranks. It seemed though, that even after he had left he would still haunt the school. The kid was so much like Fred and George Weasley that sometimes it was downright scary.

 **"Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"**

"Thomas, make this thing stop!" Shouted Neville, as he headed to the source of the problem. Thomas, the boy in question, currently was burrowing his face into his arms. "Thomas!"

"It's a Howler sir. He doesn't know how to. I don't think you can even do that." Said Ana, the girl besides him, between fits of giggles.

 **"Never gonna give, never gonna give, Give you up! Never gonna give, never gonna give Give you up!"**

Neville drew out his wand, and pointed it steadily at the Howler. There were only so many spells and charms he could use. Finally, after a few moments thinking, and listening to that horrid song, he found one. "Depulso!" He shouted, as a jet of blue magic swirled toward the wretched thing. As soon as the banishing charm touched the Howler, it's vanished, leaving nothing but the clearing where it had been.

He cleared his throat, and straightened his tie and robes. "Jazeera, Caleb, you have detention with me for a week. And get off that table!" He ordered. "And since everybody else found this absolutely hilarious, I'm taking away 40 points from each house." He said with finality, before walking towards the door. "Breakfast dissmissed!" He shouted as he left for, and magically all the half eaten plates and untouched drinks vanished, leaving a room full of angry and grumpy students.

(This is the same universe as Amortentia)

 _Hey guys! So this is going to be an ongoing fanfic. Like the the name implies, this is going to be a fic with a hundred different one-shots. Maybe I'll do part II's. We'll see! I'm absolutely obsessed with funny Muggleborn headcannons on tumblr, and I thought I'd pay my homage to it._

 _I got the idea from the fanfic author EvilEkat with her MaBill story called "A Century of MaBill". I kid you not, that girl is pure genius. (Now you may return back to your regularly scheduled procastination.)_

 _Until next time, Peace and Pancakes!_


End file.
